There are few things more stressful during the holidays than bringing home your beau home for the holidays; especially if it’s time your family’s meeting them. Between risky and to be avoided topics such as money and politics (especially considering the currently tense political state of our country), and the nerves that come along with introducing the new important person in your life to people who’ve always been important to you, bringing a boyfriend or girlfriend around for holiday gatherings can seem daunting. To help you and your honey through the holidays, here are a few tips we recommend your beau follow.
By Nicole Kirichanskaya
Prepare Them Ahead Of Time
Prepare both your family and your beau: On what to expect, family traditions, and idiosyncrasies of family members. Tell your mom to calm down with the baby photos. Keep both of your stories straight ie; that crazy night in Panama city during spring break: Never Happened.
Make Sure Your PDA is in Synch and Respectful
Don’t cross the line, but at the same time, show that you care about one another. It looks awkward and out of synch when one is more touchy feely than the other. Be respectful to family members around you.
Never Come to the House, Apartment, Party, Empty-Handed.
Be it flowers for your girlfriend/boyfriend’s mom, a nice bottle of wine, homemade (or store-bought) desert, a gift is a way of showing your significant other’s family respect, and that you appreciate them inviting you into their home for the holidays.
You Should Definitely Dress to Impress.
Understand that you will be judged on a first impression. This is completely normal. No tears, stains, or wrinkles, and please keep the sex appeal in your attire for time spent with your lover only. Minimize cleavage and avoid short hemlines. You do not have to arrive in a business suit; however, dress as you would to try to impress someone (which you are trying to do) while still remaining true to your style. For example, if you are a fan of big colors and prints, try to pick a simple mono-toned ensemble with one bright accessory, such as a handbag or statement necklace. After the first few introductions, and once you get to know the family better, is when you can start dressing more casually around them.
Be Polite and on your Best Demeanor
No one likes a know-it-all. Offer to help when the members of the family are running errands, doing a grocery run, or even dragging the Christmas tree home. Offer other members a drink or snack if you are getting one yourself.
Cultural Differences
If you and your partner come from two different cultural backgrounds, make sure that you ask your partner about any significant cultural no-no’s and traditions they have, so that you don’t accidentally offend anyone. For example, if your partner’s family has any dietary restrictions (such as keeping Kosher), then keep that in mind when deciding to bring over any food for dinner.
The Spanish Inquisition will be Inevitable
Answer the “What do you do”, “Where did you grow up”, “What are your intentions” respectfully and confidently, like a boss.
Avoid Awkward Pauses By Finding Common Ground
Talk about favorite destinations you’ve been to and why, what you did last Christmas, talk highly of your significant other and why you are proud of them.
Be Somewhat Formal
it’s always best to try to show your best side first and show your significant other’s parents that you respect them. However, and this is a big tip to follow, don’t try to be someone you’re not. For example, if you’re not someone who uses formal vocabulary in your day-to-day speech, then don’t try it when talking to the parents for the first time. Acting or talking in a way you’re not accustomed to will make you seem awkward at best, and pretentious at worst, and your girlfriend/boyfriend’s family will definitely notice. While it’s always best to be a little formal, and always polite, to people who make up a large part of your partner’s life, it’s to be noted that no one likes to deal with people who seem false or are simply putting up an act. Be yourself, because if you do successfully manage to put up a false impression during your first meeting, and are unable to maintain it afterwards, then there will definitely be some tense moments waiting for you in the future.
With these tips in mind, it’s most likely than not that your partner’s family is looking forward to meeting the person that makes their child so happy, and will try to make you feel as welcome as possible. Try to remember that you are there to show your commitment for your partner and become a closer part of his/her life, not to apply for a job application or be someone you’re not. When preparing to meet the family for the first time, talk with your partner, take a deep breath and try to enjoy the holidays.
See HERE, on what NEVER to Talk about at any point of a family gathering.
-NK
